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7.31.2006

Nerdy war flamebait

Hezbollah has great soldiers. That's one reason I can't help liking them. They're some of the most underrated soldiers on earth facing what I consider the most overrated military force on earth, the IDF. The Israelis have been coasting on their reputation for a long time, but way back in Gulf War I it was clear they made their record like a Don King fighter, padding their Win column against a bunch of bums. When I saw those pitiful Arab "soldiers" crawling toward US camera crews on their hands and knees to surrender, the first thing that went through my head was, "Whoa, so that's the kind of opponent the Israelis have been showboating against? Well Hell, my high school marching band could've beaten those Arab chickenshits!"

7.30.2006

Calling all Germans

Seriously.. if the party was on a Saturday, it would be worth going! Get yer asses to Köln!

7.27.2006

7.26.2006

Word of the whenever I goddamn feel like it alright!, Sheesh! : Titter

Titter
intr.v. tittered, tittering, titters

To laugh in a restrained, nervous way; giggle.

E.G. Paul's tits give me the titters.

Snakes In A Post Office

A woman caused panic in a German post office when a 1.5m (5ft) albino python snake she was trying to send through the mail broke free of its packaging.

The 28-year-old woman had sold the snake over the internet and was mailing it to its new owner labelled "glass".

"Staff accepted the package and put it in the back of the office - they had no idea what it was," police said.

"All of a sudden, they noticed that it started moving around and then saw a big snake wriggling out of it."

One of the workers at the western city of Mechernich's post office wrestled the escaping snake and put it in a container.

It is not illegal for people to send snakes via mail, but the woman will be investigated by police over a mistreatment of animals charge.

7.23.2006

Cartographical Interlude: Where Croatians Come From


...from Iran. Sorry about the mess.

The Solution To The Intractable Problem In The Middle East


An update.

7.20.2006

From The Department Of Zany Reptile Stories, Drink Tank Brings You Houdini, The Electric-Blanket-Eating Python

KETCHUM, Idaho (AP) -- It took surgery to save a 12-foot Burmese python after it swallowed an entire queen-size electric blanket -- with the electrical cord and control box.

The blanket must have gotten tangled up in the snake's rabbit dinner, owner Karl Beznoska said. He kept the blanket in the cage to keep the 60-pound reptile, named Houdini, warm.

"Somehow, he was able to unplug the electric cord," Beznoska said Wednesday. "He at least wasn't hooked up to the power. It might have been pretty warm there."

Veterinarian Karsten Fostvedt conducted a two-hour operation on the python Tuesday, and said afterward, "The prognosis is great."

Neither Fostvedt nor fellow veterinarian Barry Rathfon had operated on a snake before. "We just basically called a couple of specialists and they told us where to go in," Fostvedt said.

X-rays showed the tangle of the blanket's wiring extending through about 8 feet of the python's digestive tract. The surgery to remove it took an 18-inch incision.

Specialists at the University of California-Davis School of Veterinary Medicine told them it probably would have taken Houdini six hours to swallow the blanket and the snake probably would have died without the operation.

Beznoska, a retired ski instructor who now works as a draftsman and carpenter, is from Austria and moved to the resort area in 1965. He has had Houdini for 16 years and takes him to local schools for show-and-tell.
______________________________
Thanks to Tim.

The Girl Who Ran With The Pack

SHE bounds along on all fours through long grass, panting with her tongue hanging out. When she reaches the tap she paws at the ground, drinks noisily with her jaws wide open and lets the water cascade over her head.

Up to this point, you think the young woman could be acting — but the moment she shakes her head and neck free of droplets, exactly like a dog when it emerges from a swim, you get a creepy sense that this is something beyond imitation. Then she barks.

The furious sound she makes is not like a human being pretending to be a dog. It is a proper, chilling, canine-like burst of aggression and it is coming from the mouth of a young woman dressed in T-shirt and shorts.

This is 23-year-old Oxana Malaya reverting to behaviour she learnt as a young child when she was brought up by a pack of dogs on a rundown farm near the village of Novaya Blagoveschenka in Ukraine. When she showed her boyfriend what she once was and what she could still do — the barking, the whining, the four-footed running — he took fright. It was a party trick that went too far and the relationship ended.

Miss Malaya is a feral child, one of only about 100 known in the world. The story goes that, when she was three, her indifferent, alcoholic parents left her outside one night and she crawled into a hovel where they kept dogs. No one came to look for her or even seemed to notice she was gone, so she stayed where there was warmth and food — raw meat and scraps — forgetting what it was to be human, losing what toddler's language she had and learning to survive as a member of the pack.

A shameful five years later, a neighbour reported a child living with animals. When she was found, at the age of eight in 1991, Oxana could hardly speak and ran around on all fours barking...

WOTD: Bibulous

bib·u·lous
adjective
tending to drink too much alcohol
[Late 17th century. < Latin bibulus < bibere "to drink"]

Somtimes I get rediculious when I'm feelin Bibulous.. Ffff...Ffff.Fresh!

7.19.2006

Back In The U.S.S.A.


Just walked in the door. Freedom never smelled so ...tiring.

7.18.2006

Spillane at 88 stops bubbeling



"I snapped the side of the rod across his jaw and laid the flesh open to the bone," Spillane wrote. "I pounded his teeth back into his mouth with the end of the barrel ... and I took my own damn time about kicking him in the face. He smashed into the door and lay there bubbling. So I kicked him again and he stopped bubbling."

RIP

7.14.2006

Ironic irony



At least we know he loves his job.

7.13.2006

The end is near?



Taking bets guys, is this WWIII?

Is this a simple regional conflict?

We got North Korea with the missiles, Putin kissing tummy's, Iran with the nukes (or not), Lebanon shelling people, Israel invading, Tension here at home, Etc....

I want to hear it guys, what's going to happen?

The Real Butthead

France v. Italy

Heee Haw


Ride-Able Robots Are Here
in other news: No more Hoff as soon as you go to DT. eww

7.10.2006

BOOOOOO!!!



I hate when everyone is gone...

Josko come home!
Miguel Come home!

I am inviting drintank over to my place in Brooklyn this summer, for a nice cold drink of course.

Totally worth it

ZIZU BIACH!

WOTD: Illeist

Illeist
n. One who refers to oneself in the third person.
From Latin ille (that) + -ism.

E.G. He is an Illeist. :)

7.07.2006

WOTD: Eau de Vie

Eau de Vie
n. pl. eaux de vie

Colorless brandy distilled from fermented fruit juice.


[French eau-de-vie : eau, water + de, of + vie, life.]

E.G. Pass ze Eau de Vie mon ami France just trounced those cannoli heads in the finals! Ho ho ho

7.06.2006

WOTD:Antejentacular

Antejentacular
adj.
before breakfast.

E.G. Days ending in y are perfect for an antejentacular callibogus.

I think antejentacular should be a noun in its own right, but that's just me. I mean what else could you possibly do before breakfast.

Ken Lay is Really Dead



So no more yappin lefties.

7.05.2006

This is what happens when we allow idiots in congress

Senator Ted Stevens (R-Alaska) explained why he voted against the amendment and gave an amazing primer on how the internet works.



I just the other day got, an internet was sent by my staff at 10 o'clock in the morning on Friday and I just got it yesterday. Why?

Because it got tangled up with all these things going on the internet commercially.

WOTD: Hebetude

Hebetude

n : mental lethargy or dullness

E.G. Staying at the 4th of July BBQ until all hours is causing me some serious hebetude today.

7.04.2006

Happy 4th

Americana:

The New York Times profiles some great Americans.

Johnny Cash American Recordings V released today.

A new record is set in the most competitive hot dog eating contest in memory - Takeru Kobayashi eats 53 3/4 dogs, besting the American runner up Joey Chestnut (final score 52).

7.02.2006

In Croatia

...there is no problem. I'm already dark and well fed. This place is awesome. My sister gets married next Saturday. For those of you unfortunate enough not to be here, keep a lookout for some pictures on their wedding site and some flickr accounts (limited, though, 'cause we only have the dreaded dial-up on the island).

Oh, and don't forget to check out their honey-moon fund! Woooooo!