Drink Tank

Extra Aqua Vitae Nulla Salus


Gentlemen start your sniggeling

“I like to go fast as opposed to look good,” Rummy told the Aspen Times to describe his skiing style. The Secretary of Defense and his wife, Joyce, are longtime residents of Vail Valley.

Does it bother anyone the our secratery of fucking defense looks like the acting minister of quilting. His wife though, she looks tough. I bet she beats him.


10,000 songs in your ass.

Same to you pal!

Science as Art

Structure formed upon annealing a thin gold film on a silicon substrate. The image was enhanced using Photoshop. Imaged using a LEO 1550 scanning electron microscope (SEM). (Magnification 100,000x)

Thanks dad!

Alcohol and cigarettes



France really owns the global alcohol industry. We Americans are holding our own in terms of drinking and smoking, with Japan the other superpower.



Beer Bath!

A family brewery in the Czech Republic has opened the world’s first beer health centre in its cellar. The Chodovar Family brewery in Chodova Plana offers beer baths, beer massages and beer cosmetics.

The cellar has seven huge Victorian style baths where visitors can swim in beer while enjoying a pint poured at a bathside bar.

"Beer can treat a range of conditions, particularly skin conditions, and the health centre should appeal to men who are put off by 'posh' traditional spas. I have heard of some places in other countries where people can swim in beer but it's just a gimmick. We believe in the healing properties of beer and we offer the full range of treatments. We are a fully-fledged beer spa," Ananova quoted Jiri Plevka, the owner as saying.

The guests are charged 80 pounds for weekend packages, and can indulge in a range of health treatments including beer wraps, starting at 12 pounds per session.



Drink Tank Field Trip
NEW YORK - A life-size sculpture of a naked Britney Spears kneeling on a bearskin rug as she gives birth will be on display next month at Brooklyn’s Capla Kesting Fine Art gallery.

From Dept of Fran

News you can use

Glenfiddich to Auction the World's Oldest Bottle of Whisky: Glenfiddich Rare Collection 1937 will be Sold to Highest Bidder. A single cask yielded only 61 unique bottles of this exquisite Scotch whisky. Import laws required a special 750 mL bottle to be made; the item for auction is therefore the only 750 mL bottle of the Glenfiddich Rare Collection 1937 ever produced. The spirit came into being in 1937 when oak cask 843, hand-made by distillery coopers, was filled with liquid from stills at the Glenfiddich Distillery in Dufftown, Scotland, and laid down in a dunnage warehouse to mature. The spirit was slowly aged in cask for 64 years and bottled in 2001, resulting in a liquid of deep, robust character. With a rich walnut color, nose of toffee, cinnamon and cloves and sweet, cedar-y palette, this extraordinary Scotch whisky brims with complex yet subtle notes.

This one-of-a-kind spirit will be sold to the highest bidder with proceeds donated to City Harvest, a charity charged with ending hunger in communities in New York. The lucky buyer will own a piece of history, as Cask 843 has lived through monumental world events including World War II, man landing on the moon and the fall of the Berlin Wall. Glenfiddich Rare Collection 1937 was distilled in the same year the Golden Gate Bridge opened to traffic, JRR Tolkien's 'The Hobbit' was first published and Walt Disney's 'Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs' was first released as a full length animated feature film.

Glenfiddich Malt Master David Stewart notes, "Glenfiddich Rare Collection 1937 is a truly unique and exquisite malt whisky of exceptional character. As well as being the oldest Scotch whisky in the world and a very collectible piece, it would make for the most wonderful taste experience."

An RSVP for attendance is required. Please call 212.982.8300 x 111.

A reminder to all my half birthday is on saturday! ;)


How Do You Kill The Undead?

With a gunshot to the brain or base of the skull, of course.

Just Looking Around On Wikipedia On A Lonely, Rainy Sunday Afternoon

The Barbary Wars were two wars between the United States of America and piratical city-states in North Africa. At issue was the pirates' demand of tribute from American merchant vessels in the Mediterranean Sea. American naval power attacked the pirate cities and extracted concessions of fair passage from their brigand rulers.

The Barbary Wars are sometimes called "America's Forgotten War", although they share that dubious honor with several other conflicts. The wars largely passed out of popular memory within a generation. After September 11, 2001, some interest in the wars has been revived, with comparisons between the Americans' no-compromise stance in the early 1800s to the current War on Terrorism.

The punitive actions against the Barbary States were launched by the administrations of Thomas Jefferson and James Madison. When they proved successful, partisans of the Jeffersonian Republicans contrasted their administrations' refusal to buy off the pirates with the failure of the preceding federalist administration to live up to the rhetorical flight, "Millions for defense, but not one cent for tribute," attributed to Charles C. Pinckney in the course of the XYZ Affair.


The White House was built after Congress established the District of Columbia as the permanent capital of the United States on July 16, 1790. President George Washington helped select the site, along with city planner Pierre L'Enfant. George and Martha Washington lived in a home on the Pamunkey River called the White House and named the new Washington residence after it.

The architect was chosen in a milad competition, which received nine proposals. James Hoban, an Irishman, was awarded the honor and construction began with the laying of the cornerstone on October 13, 1792. The building Hoban designed was modeled on the first and second floors of Leinster House, a ducal palace in Dublin, Ireland, which is now the seat of the Irish Parliament. Contrary to widely published myth, the North portico was not modelled on a similar portico on another Dublin building, the Viceregal Lodge (now Áras an Uachtaráin, residence of the President of Ireland). Its portico in fact postdates the White House portico's design. The decision to place the capital on land ceded by two slave states—Virginia and Maryland—ultimately influenced the acquisition of laborers to construct its public buildings. The D.C. commissioners, charged by Congress with building the new city under the direction of the president, initially planned to import workers from Europe to meet their labor needs. However, response to recruitment was dismal and they soon turned to African Americans, both slave and free, to provide the bulk of labor that built the White House.

Construction of the White House was completed on November 1, 1800. Over an extremely slow 8 years of construction, $232,371.83 was spent. With inflation, this would be approximately equivalent to $2.4 million today.

Like the English and Irish country houses it resembled, the White House was remarkably open to the public until the early part of the twentieth century. President Thomas Jefferson held an open house for his second inaugural in 1805, when many of the people at his swearing-in ceremony at the Capitol followed him home, where he greeted them in the Blue Room.

Those open houses sometimes became rowdy: in 1829, President Andrew Jackson had to leave for a hotel when roughly 20,000 citizens celebrated his inauguration inside the White House. His aides ultimately had to lure the mob outside with washtubs filled with a potent cocktail of orange juice and whiskey.

Grant-Wilson Claridge is a record label co-owner from Cornwall, South West England. Having been born with 6 fingers on each hand, he quickly developed DJing skills. He met Richard D. James (Aphex Twin) while DJing around Cornwall. They made good friends and started Rephlex records together. Also they had a scam where Grant was to release music under the name IG-88, but it never seemed to happen, and Grant carried on with DJing and putting out records. Rephlex is now a world famous label who put out the likes of Aphex Twin, AFX, Squarepusher, Luke Vibert (Amen Andrews), Ceephax, Cylob, DMX Krew, Bogdan Raczynski, Ovuca, Kosmik Kommando, Global Goon and many others.

Operation Barbarossa (Unternehmen Barbarossa) was the German codename for Nazi Germany's invasion of the Soviet Union during World War II that commenced on June 22, 1941. The operation was named after the Emperor Frederick Barbarossa of the Holy Roman Empire.

The original goal for this operation was the rapid conquest of all of European Russia and the Ukraine, west of a line connecting the cities of Arkhangelsk and Astrakhan, often referred to as the AA line. The failure of Operation Barbarossa arguably resulted in the eventual overall defeat of Nazi Germany, and was a turning point for the fortunes of Adolf Hitler's Third Reich. The Eastern Front which was opened by Operation Barbarossa became the biggest theatre of war in World War II, with some of the largest and most brutal battles, terrible loss of life, and miserable conditions for Soviets and Germans alike.

Ostensibly, the Germans feared that the Red Army was preparing to attack them, and their own assault was thus presented as a preemptive war. Readers of Hitler's Mein Kampf ("My Struggle") should, however, have expected an invasion of the Soviet Union. In his book, he makes clear his belief that the German people needed Lebensraum ("living space", i.e. land and raw materials), and that it should be looked for in the East. It was the stated policy of the Nazis to kill, deport, or enslave Russian and other Slavic populations, whom they considered inferior, and to repopulate the land with Germanic peoples. The entire urban population was to be exterminated by starvation, thus creating an agricultural surplus to feed Germany and allowing their replacement by a German upper class.

The German nazi-ideologist Alfred Rosenberg, who himself believed Slavs were Aryan, while preparing to implement these general ideas, suggested that conquered Soviet territory should be administered in the following Reichskommissariates:

Nazi policy aimed to destroy Russia as a political entity in accordance with the geopolitical Lebensraum idea ("Drang nach Osten") for the benefit of future "Aryan" generations in the centuries to come.

The "Führer" anticipated additional benefits from conquest:

  • When the Soviet Union was defeated the structural labour shortage in the German industry could be ended by demobilising many troops.
  • The Ukraine would be a reliable source of cheap food.
  • Having the Soviet Union as a source of cheap slave labour would vastly improve Germany's geostrategic position.
  • Defeat of the Soviet Union would further isolate the British Empire, which was on the verge of defeat in mid 1940.

RIP Bakersfield's Brightest Star

Dude, he pioneered the "electrified Bakersfield sound." He made a mean steak at his "Crystal Palace" restaurant. There was a giant Cadillac with a huge Texan long-horn hood ornament---hanging above the freakin' bar!


Ivan secretly writing for the Washington Post?

Searching for baseball's Bigfoot

The gyroball is baseball's version of alien life. No one knows if they've seen it. No one knows what it looks like. No one knows much about it. Except there's a small pocket of American fans who graze the Internet champing to see Matsuzaka, because they're all convinced that he throws a gyroball and they're all convinced it will revolutionize the sport.


Listen to Isaac Hayes speek about South Park

"I didn`t see it but I was told about it. But they lampoon everybody. And if you believe them, you got a problem."

Meeting Of The Onion Society For The Preservation Of Alcohol & Alcohol Traditions

Wednesday, March 29, 6-8 p.m.

The meeting of The Onion Society for the Preservation of Alcohol & Alcohol Traditions will take place Wednesday, March 29, at Spring Lounge. We're happy to announce the "Liquid of Honor" will be Jameson Whiskey!

Enjoy the pleasure of Jameson, compliments of The Society (while supply lasts), starting at 6 p.m.

The Society meets monthly to discuss the issues of greatest import to alcohol preservationists: mainly, alcohol and the endless possibilities it bears. Heretofore, The Society has existed in near-secrecy (thanks to poor handling by its publicist) since 1756, its meetings having been the catalyst for many of the greatest events, inventions, and gestures of philanthropy in the past quarter millennium. Among them: the American and French revolutions, nine feet of licorice-string fun, The Beatles' appearance on The Ed Sullivan Show, gunpowder, and orphanages.

The Onion Society welcomes all alcohol preservationists over the age of 21.

To attend, please RSVP to nypromo@theonion.com with "Society" in the subject. Your friends are welcome, too.

Spring Lounge
48 Spring St. @ Mulberry St.

Thanks Bush!

The Bush Administration, its allies on Capitol Hill, and the religious base of the Republican Party are opposed to mandatory HPV vaccinations. They prefer to rely on education programs that promote abstinence from sexual activity, and see the HPV vaccine as a threat to that policy. For years, conservatives have regarded the human papilloma virus as a kind of index of promiscuity. Many abstinence supporters argue that eliminating the threat of infection would only encourage teenagers to have sex. "I personally object to vaccinating children when they don't need vaccinations, particularly against a disease that is one hundred per cent preventable with proper sexual behavior,"

Conservatives like to complain that liberals blame Bush for everything, Well now it sounds like Bush is giving the USA genital warts. Quite literally. You're either with the warts or you are lending comfort to our enemies! This should be an IMPEACHABLE OFFENSE!

From The Department Of Zany Reptile Stories, Drink Tank Brings You Adwaitya, The 255 Year Old Tortoise

CALCUTTA, India, March 23 (UPI) -- Adwaitya the tortoise, once owned by the man whose British East India Company helped colonize India in the 18th century, has died at the age of 255.

Adwaitya, or "The only one," was one of four giant Aldabra tortoises given to Robert Clive by British seamen who caught them in the Seychelles Islands, reports The Times of London. The other three died soon after they arrived in India.

In recent years, Adwaitya had numerous illnesses.

"Our records show the tortoise was born in 1750, but some have claimed he was born in 1705," said the Calcutta zoo's director.

"Adwaitya, who delighted the zoo visitors for 131 years, died (Wednesday) morning. His shell will be preserved in the zoo."

Clive, who became known as the "Conqueror of India," arrived in South Asia 1743 as a clerk in the East India Company. But it was his military skill that helped him lay the foundation for eventual British rule of India. Clive died in 1774.

From the drinktank screenplay idea dept.

USTI NAD LABEM, Czech Republic (Reuters) - Thousands of corpses of German soldiers killed in World War Two are being kept in boxes in a northern Czech factory due to a lack of funds, officials said Tuesday.

The exhumed bodies have been kept for three years in the rundown factory 90km (54 miles) north of Prague on the border with eastern Germany and are now guarded by police who are waiting for the bodies to be moved.


The Ricky Gervais Show

  1. The Office

  2. Extras

  3. The Ricky Gervais Podcast! Link Link Link

Available at finer torrent sites everywhere.
(Yeah it's been going on for a while, but I only discovered it today)

Pork tastes good!

Heritage Community Services had become a major player in the booming business of abstinence education. Its budget passed $3 million -- much of it in federal grants distributed by Bush's Department of Health and Human Services

Gotta admire their perseverance

Forty people have died from drinking home-made alcohol in southern India over the past five days, including 17 attending the funeral of a man who was also poisoned by toxic brew.

How Can France Sleep When The Beds Are Burning?

Spoiled brats continue to whine about reality.

Small head explained

ODED is a rare genetic disorder characterized by multiple conditions including various hand and foot abnormalities, small head (microcephaly), incompletely formed esophagus and small intestine (esophageal/duodenal atresia), an extra eye fold (short palpebral fissures), and learning disabilities.

It's all pretty funny.

Moore's Law of Razor Blades


Yorke Vs. Blair

Radiohead frontman Thom Yorke says he turned down the chance to discuss climate change with Tony Blair because the British prime minister has "no environmental credentials."


They have been working on new material for the follow up to their politically themed 2003 disc, "Hail to the Thief.

its about time...

our hollow earth

Hello everyone
As per Josko's post. I think that this story, the story of our hollow earth would make a great movie. There is also the smaller story of Miguel passing up the opportunity to make that movie, oh well. There are two parts here you be the judge.

This is it!

Next year each member of the Voyage to Our Hollow Earth Expedition Cruise will be flying to Moscow, Russia from their home town on the first leg of our journey to check out the Hollow Earth theory. We will be staying at the Hotel Rossiya (Russia) located by St. Basil's Cathedral. We will spend the rest of the day sightseeing Moscow. The next morning we will finish up our sightseeing of Moscow and then take an afternoon flight to Murmansk, Russia where we will board the Russian Icebreaker YAMAL. The Yamal nuclear icebreaker is a modern ship with room for 108 voyagers. It has 70,000 horsepower and cuts through the arctic ice like butter.

Steve Currey, our expedition organizer is accepting bookings for this Voyage to Our Hollow Earth up until December 2005, or until the ship is full, so if any of you are interested in joining us on this expedition, which we feel is the greatest expedition of all time by we, the people, you are encouraged to contact Steve and get your registration and deposit in. You can email Steve at BBRHI@aol.com or call him toll free at 1-800-937-7238 and let him know you want to book this expedition cruise.

"Hello Steve

I don't know you, but I've been recieving your updates since my roommate signed me up for them. While I think this trip to the center of the Hollow Earth really sounds like something else, I'm afraid I'm unable to afford it.

However, I suspect (although I'm not quite sure) that my roommate may want to hear a little more about the trip. He treated it as if it were some sort of joke when I asked him about it, but I think he was putting on a bit of a show. He's read your webpage quite thoroughly, and indicated to me that he might want to know more about the voyage.

I'm going to take the liberty of introducing you to him. His name is Paul and he can be reached at......(redacted).....

Best wishes for the planning of this expidition,

Miguel "


Then they came for me....


The Greatest Story Ever Told

Otokichi (Japanese 山本音吉, Yamamoto Otokichi, later known as John Matthew Ottoson; 1818–January 1867) was a Japanese castaway originally from the area of Onoura near Mihama, on the west coast of the Chita Peninsula in Aichi Prefecture. He was a 14-year-old crew member on a rice transport ship bound for Edo, the Hojunmaru (Japanese: 宝順丸), 15 meters in length with a cargo of 150 tons and a crew of 14. The boat left in December 1832, but was caught in a storm and blown off-course far out in the Pacific Ocean.

The boat, without a mast and a rudder, was carried across the northern Pacific Ocean by currents, and drifted for 14 months, during which the crew lived on water (they knew how to desalinate seawater) and on the rice of their cargo. Several crew died of scurvy, and only three survived when they made landfall at Cape Alava (the westernmost point of the Olympic Peninsula in Washington) in 1834. The three survivors were Iwakichi, 29, Kyukichi, 16, and Otokichi, then 15.

The three castaways were looked after and briefly enslaved by a Makah Indian tribe, and then handed over to John McLoughlin, the Chief Factor for the Columbia District at the Hudson's Bay Company. During their time in the area, they met with teacher-adventurer Ranald MacDonald, who was inspired by this encounter to travel to then isolated Japan in 1848. Macdonald became the first American to teach English there, and like Otokichi was instrumental in bringing Japan into increasing contact with the western world.

McLoughlin, envisioning an opportunity to use the castaways to open trade with Japan, sent the trio to London on the Eagle to try to convince the Crown of his plan. They reached London in 1835, probably the first Japanese ever to do so.

The British Government ultimately denied interest in the enterprise, and the castaways were instead dispatched to Macao onboard the General Palmer, so that they could be returned to their home country.

Once in Macao, Otokichi, Kyukichi and Iwakichi were welcomed by Karl Gutzlaff, a German missionary and Chinese translator for the British Government. Gutzlaff, who had views on evangelizing Japan, enthusiastically learned Japanese from the trio, and with their help managed to make a translation of the Gospel According to John into Japanese. The trio was joined in Macao by four more castaways from Kumamoto Prefecture in Kyushu, who had been shipwrecked on the island of Luzon in the Philippines.

An opportunity to return them to Japan appeared when the American trader Charles W. King offered to send them back to Japan, again with the hope of establishing trade relations with the country. In July 1837, the seven castaways left with Charles W. King onboard the Morrison to Uraga at the entrance of Edo Bay. There the ship was fired on repeatedly, and King was not able to accomplish his objective to establish diplomatic contact. He then went to Kagoshima, but again met with cannon fire, and finally decided to abandon his efforts and go back to Canton. The castaways resigned themselves to a life in exile.

Unable to return to Japan, the castaways started a new life in Macao. They seem to have worked as translators for the British trade legation and British missionaries.

Otokichi is next recorded to have been working for the British trading company Dent & Co. in Shanghai in 1843. He apparently also worked as a crewman on American ships, and worked at helping Japanese castaways to return to Japan onboard Chinese or Dutch boats, the only ones allowed to visit the country.

Otokichi married an Englishwoman who later died of illness. Otokichi then married a Malay woman, with whom he had a son and three daughters. He became a naturalized British subject, taking the name John Matthew Ottoson. "Ottoson" is said to have been a transliteration of "Oto-san" (literally "Mr. Oto"), a respectful nickname used by his Japanese mates.

Otokichi is known to have returned to Japan twice, first as a translator on board HMS Mariner, which entered Uraga Port in 1849 to conduct a topographical survey. To avoid problems with Japanese authorities, he disguised himself as Chinese, and said that he had learnt Japanese from his father, allegedly a businessman who had worked in relation with Nagasaki.

The second time, Otokichi went to Japan under his British name "Ottoson", in September 1854. He was a member of the British fleet under Admiral James Stirling. The fleet docked at Nagasaki and negotiated and signed the Anglo-Japanese Friendship Treaty October 14. On that occasion, Otokichi met with many Japanese, including Fukuzawa Yukichi. He was apparently offered to return to Japan, but he chose to return to his family in Shanghai.

Toward the end of his life Otokichi moved from Shanghai to Singapore, his wife's native country. The British had compensated him generously for his contribution to the treaty with Japan, and he apparently rented a luxurious colonial house on Orchard Road.

He died there at the age of 49, in 1867. Otokichi was buried at the Japanese Cemetery of Singapore. Half of his remains were returned to his hometown of Mihama in Japan on February 20, 2005.


This incredible story is almost hard to believe and someone (Miguel?) should immediately write a screenplay for it.

Happy Birthday Andrew!


Spanish Youth Drinking The Night Away

Thousands of Spanish youngsters have been exercising their democratic rights - protecting the right to get drunk.

The youths swarmed onto the streets for mass drinking sessions, defying legislation introduced to stop the binges known as "botellones".

Police in the southern Spanish city of Granada said up to 25,000 people had gathered, causing the closure of a major road.

Youths rallied revellers by email and text messages for"macrobotellones" in 20 cities around Spain, while authorities have pleaded with parents to keep their children under control and pointed out the dangers of under-age drinking.

The botellon (big bottle) has become a seedy part of city life over recent years as teenagers, bored at home and too poor to go to bars, buy beer, spirits and cartons of wine from food stores and lounge around in plazas, drinking the night away.

Sounds fun.

Thanks to Tim.


The Border Film Project

More on Scientology

" So, Scientology, you may have won THIS battle, but the million-year war for earth has just begun! Temporarily anozinizing our episode will NOT stop us from keeping Thetans forever trapped in your pitiful man-bodies. Curses and drat! You have obstructed us for now, but your feeble bid to save humanity will fail! Hail Xenu!!!

- Trey Parker and Matt Stone, servants of the dark lord Xenu."

The creators of South Park respond to Comedy Central's choice not to re-air "Trapped In The Closet."

Previously on Drink Tank: I Don't Like Isaac Hayes Anymore


In Danish, "olfrygt" means "the fear of the possibility of not finding beer when travelling out of town

According to some dumb canadian newspaper I can't link to.

Scientists Stunned By The Huge Freakin' Crack In Djibouti

The crack in Djibouti so goddamn big it'll form a new ocean.


I Don't Like Isaac Hayes Anymore

Co-creator Stone said Hayes would be released from his contract and had the best wishes of the South Park team.

Stone said: "In 10 years and over 150 episodes of South Park, Isaac never had a problem with the show making fun of Christians, Muslim, Mormons or Jews.

"He got a sudden case of religious sensitivity when it was his religion featured on the show."

The religion he is refering to is Scientology.

Good news from Iraq.....sorta

I wonder if Kims Video has any of this stuff. I'll let you guys know.

Live in fear

LA drinktankers what are you waitting for?

mana from heaven

or the tap.


The future president of the USA


Living On Japan's Death Row

AKA, an "affront to human decency."

They are prohibited from talking to other prisoners. Their contact with the outside world is limited to infrequent, supervised visits from family or their lawyers. They are not allowed hobbies or television, and may own only three books, though more can be borrowed with the warden's permission as long as the content is not deemed to preach "subversion of authority." Exercise is limited to two short sessions a week outside their cells, four solid walls and one small window. Some rely on sleeping pills, bought with money provided by their families, to survive the isolation.

Many prisoners live in this purgatory for more than two decades while appeals against their sentences churn through Japan's notoriously sluggish legal system. But once appeals are exhausted, executions will come without notice, on the whim and with the stamp of the justice minister.

There are no last meals. Hangings are carried out without witnesses, and the inmate's family members aren't informed until the prisoner is dead and they are told to collect the body.

Bong hits for jesus.

"Principal Deborah Morse seized the banner and suspended the 18-year-old for 10 days, saying he had undermined the school's educational mission and anti-drug stance."

also check out www.pot.tv for "the pot news"

Lifted from Drudge.

glad to hear the law is on our side. No more brownies for awhile, ouch. So guys where can I check out streamed movies on the internet. I know Frontline is good for docs, and the internet archive is good but what else is there?


Taking The Easy Way Out

Former Yugoslav President Slobodan Milosevic has been found dead in his cell in The Hague, Netherlands where he was being tried on war cimes charges, according to the United Nations war crimes tribunal. He was 64.

Well actually I don't think it was suicide. He claimed he needed medical help for his weak ticker and he was probably right. Too bad he didn't die in a worse way, considering how much suffering he caused millions of people. Fucker.


Drinktank whishes its favored son a happy and healthy year!

Getting excited

Funny story about a sadistic killer.

Fiore did what anyone confronting a killer would do -- he begged for his life.

"I said no, no, no, you do not have to do this," he recalls. "You do not have to do this. You are the writer, you are the producer. This is [bunk]. Kill somebody else!"

Chase was apologetic but unmoved. Nothing personal. It's just what the story demands.

Easing into the acceptance stage of death, Fiore asked how he would expire, and suddenly the news went from merely awful to absurdly awful. "At first," he says, "I thought it was a really bad joke."

It wasn't. Chase wanted Fiore's character to die of a heart attack on the toilet.

Good use of "[bunk]."


A Friend Emailed This To Me


I had this crazy dream about Arnold Schwarzenegger shaving. My entire field of view was his face, just about ear-to-ear. Let me repeat: all I could see for this dream was the bulk of Arnold's face.

He was shaving, whole beard area covered in white cream. He agonizingly used a razor to shave his left half (from my view, the right half). The scraping sound was crazy. Yah know when shaving when you can tell that you scratched too hard, and you'll have a tiny blood spots? He was getting those all over. After one side was done, he started rubbing certain really bad parts with water, very roughly, giving out grunts of pain and frustration. With cream still on the right half of his face, he yelled really loud, in his characteristic fashion.

It looked something like this.

Totally crazy dream.

Green Gold

There's an article in the print edition of the New Yorker (not online) about the history of absinthe and efforts to reverse engineer it. Blowing off my experiences at Rubalad, the piece claims that only a few dozen people alive have ever drunk absinthe as it was enjoyed when it was a popular drink of the 19th century.

Flaubert: "Absinthe: an extra-violent poison: one glass and you're dead. Journalists drink it while writing their articles. Has killed more soldiers than the Bedoins."

He's joking - according to the article the crazy reputation is an accident of history, largely the fault of a moron who couldn't hold his liquor and shot his wife and kids dead. (Absinthe was blamed at trial even though he went on a wine and cognac bender after his morning absinthe and before the crimes.)

The piece is kind of PR for the fellow who makes these bottles (he says the bitter "hooch" I've tried is both illegal and historically inaccurate: bitterness is thought to signal authenticity now but reflects mistakes in distillation) and also notes that for "thousands of dollars" one can aquire preban bottles to impress your friends and get silly after dinner (worried that absinthe would worsen their shot at winning WWI, the French ciminalized production in 1915).

This was a good article; check it out if you see the March 13 issue (the journalist - as predicted above - did drink for the article, according to what I read).

BTW, posession and consumption are legal, and if you travel into the US with a bottle it may be confiscated but you won't get charged with anything.

UPDATE: Oded linked to a Wired article on the subject in October.


A new policy to avert future terrorist massacres

The Secretary of Homeland Security (Secretary) shall establish within the Department of Homeland Security (Department) a Center for Faith-Based and Community Initiatives (Center).

more comics for oded

super sad garfield cartoons...

Internet fantasy


Married to the Sea

A new daily cartoon from the folks over at Toothpaste for Dinner


Milan Babic, the leader of rebel Serbs in Croatia and one-time president of the Croatian Serbs in the 1990s, has committed suicide in his cell at a U.N. detention facility where he was serving a 13-year term for war crimes, officials said.

Before sentencing, he apologized to the Croatian people. "I stand before this tribunal with a deep sense of shame and remorse. I allowed myself to participate in the persecution of the worst kind against people only because they were Croats, not Serbs," he said, according to The Associated Press.

Who needs nano-implants and retinal scans when there are IPods?

Apparently, Police were able to positively identify a woman in critical condition from a hit-and-run by contacting Apple using her IPod serial number. I wonder whether they will indicate this connection was possible because she knowingly registered it in her name, or if the Apple store she purchased it at sneakily associated the serial number with her credit card. Normal companies don't have this luxury because they don't run retail outlets, so there would be no way for them to match serial numbers and credit cards together. Since Apple sold the product and collected the credit card, I wouldn't be surprised if there was a database floating around at Jobs HQ that maps every single customer of Apple stores to their IZombie serial number.

What the article does not mention, however, is that Police are 99% sure the woman was struck because she has a shitty taste in music.


Food has no beer value, But beer has some food value

Beer shortage

"People have to be fed but they also need to socialise," Mr Kazonda says.

We lived on a farm! And I got lonely! We were... Oh, we were just a couple of stupid kids.

Goat sex man in caprine shotgun wedding

The Straight Dope

"A plane is standing on a runway that can move (some sort of band conveyer). The plane moves in one direction, while the conveyer moves in the opposite direction. This conveyer has a control system that tracks the plane speed and tunes the speed of the conveyer to be exactly the same (but in the opposite direction). Can the plane take off?"


Liberian history

Liberian history is the subject of the new column by the War Nerd.

The abolitionists loved black people so much they wanted them to go far, far away.

Have I ever mentioned my theory that the good guys after World War Two took up Zionism for much the same reason... "There's an even better solution - have your own country in the paradise of Palestine!"