Extra Aqua Vitae Nulla Salus
posted by Andrew @ 2:44 AM
JokesMade by Robots,for Robots.A rabbi, an Arab, a robot, and a Catholic priest walk into a bar. Only the robot exits.A robot walks into a pharmacist. The pharmacist asks him if he'd like anything. The robot replies, "A soul."How do you stop a robot from destroying you and the rest of civilization?You don't."Waiter! Waiter! What's this robot doing in my soup?""It looks like he's performing human tasks twice as well, because he knows no fear or pain."Knock knock.Who's there?A robot.Oh, shit.What's the difference between a regular robot and a killer robot?The gnawing jeers of men.What's a robot's favorite cereal?Rob-os.(Note: Rob-os are made of the tears of human children.)Little Susie tosses a clock out the window. A robot inquires, "Why did you do that?" She replies, "I wanted to see time fly!" The robot says, "Ah ... A perfect subject for elimination," and shoots her with a laser beam through the face.Why did the robot order a milkshake?To blend in with the general human population, making it easier to infiltrate society and—in time—conquer it.Why was six afraid of seven?Because seven was a robot.
I sometime step back and admire how much robots really dominate my attention.I mean, I'm talking robots 10 hours a day at work, and then go on youtube and find funny/weird robot videos, and then go watch Battlestar Gallactica and almost always make good excuses for Gaius.The only thing that makes it seem normal: at work I'm surrounded by people that do the same :)
Where's my robot butler, Ivan? I know there's Roomba and Scooba, but I need a machine that will also wash my back, drive me around, and say "Very good, Sir!"
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