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The War on Turkey

UPDATE by Josko:
Last year Miguel gave us this great recipe. Fran and I did it with a 17 lb bird and it was indeed the best turkey I've had! This year we have an 18 lb bird. I'll let you know how it goes. Without further ado, the infamous original post. Happy Thanksgiving!:

About a year ago I developed this technique with my roommate. All instructions below are IIRC

The Drunken Turkey


1 10 lbs. turkey
1 32 oz. Fosters
Some whiskey
A hot pepper
1/2 lbs. butter.
1 lbs. bacon
Salt and Pepper

We adapted the well known Beer Can Chicken (google it) for indoor use, on account of the amazing cold weather.

Pretty much, the idea is to do this in one fluid motion: open the Fosters, drink half of it, and then stick the half-full can up the turkey's ass. You have to empty out the cavity 1st, of course, and then you just want to get that big beer can right the hell in there, so that you can sit the bird up straight, on the beer can, in the oven. (Preheat to like 300 degrees.) It ends up looking very meditative, like it's sitting crosslegged thinking about something important, like "why is there a beer can in my bunghole?"

I developed a basting sauce, using equal parts melted butter and whiskey, with: finely chopped hot pepper; salt; pepper; and other seasonings (quantity to taste... you know what seasonings you like). We basted our bird every twenty minutes for about three hours, and then ate the most delicious, moist turkey I've ever had in my life. Bonus: roll up your bacon stips and put them in a caserole dish beneath the turkey. Three hours is enough to crisp them, and it'll add a lot of flavor to the gravy you catch from the bird.

The basting time is enough to prepare as much sundried-tomato and garlic mashed potatoes, green beans with ginger and soy, even cranberries if you're tradition-minded (I just like a little hot pepper jam on my own plate for Thanksgiving, but to each his own), etc. etc.

I'm serious: this is a yummy turkey.

Happy Thanksgiving, everybody! (And here's the other war on turkey, for your viewing pleasure.)

Original posted by Miguel @ 1:41 PM 11/23/04


At 10:39 AM, Blogger Trevor said...

Camille and I are going to try this recipe tomorrow, so let me know if you think of anything else we should know. We've never cooked a turkey before, but this seems easy. (Almost... too easy)

At 12:26 PM, Blogger Miguel said...

Getting the turkey sitting up straight is the hardest part, and there are metal thingees they sell for that (but I was able to do it by balancing it). Just use any guide online or on your turkey to calculate how long you should cook it for based on what it weighs. And seriously, the basting sauce is your chance to shine -- add whatever spices, garlic, anything you think will taste good.

At 1:27 PM, Blogger joško said...

Fran and I are gonna start making this recipe RIGHT NOW. WoooWOOOOOOOOO! ;)

At 11:43 AM, Blogger Trevor said...

Ours came out really well. The Fosters can was a perfect fit and it balanced perfectly on the first try. We ripped off your entire menu, "to a T" (whatever that means), with the addition of sweet potatoes with marshmallows. We also had a $2.99 apple pie from Sav-A-Center, but after the meal it was about 11pm so we skipped that.

Our only problem was thawing the turkey, which we bought frozen the night before. We tried a cold-water thaw but our water was too cold, so after 7 hours it wasn't defrosted... so we put it under running tap water for 20 minutes to finish it off.

All in all a very satisfying experience, and the best Thanksgiving I've had in a while. Thanks Miguel!

At 12:22 PM, Blogger Miguel said...

Awesome :)

Enjoy the rest of the weekend!

At 9:39 AM, Blogger Ivan said...

All these comments are from last year, right?

Who else here plans on making this WOT special?

At 4:54 PM, Blogger joško said...

2005: Fran, Mary Ann, JT, Joel Stallings, and I are gleefully making this recipe again this year. It smells so good. About 3 hours to go!

More comments later...

At 5:42 PM, Blogger Trevor said...

These posts should show dates.

We used Miguel's recipe last year, and it was great. This year my dad fried our 2 turkeys, and they were outstanding!


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